Tiger Woods married Elin Nordegren, a former Swedish model, au pair and daughter of Sweden’s minister of migration on October 5th 2004 at the idyllic Sandy Lane resort in Barbados. On November 25th 2009 The National Enquirer broke the story of Wood’s “marital infidelities” with a nightclub manager called Rachel Uchitel? among many, many others. Following this, the 14-time major tournament winner apparently lost the ability to drive (a car at least) and mysteriously wound up wrapped around a hedge, a fire hydrant and finally a tree before retiring from the golf world for a year.
Now many of us could simply not do what Tiger has done, especially because most sane people don’t see the point of golf, but we can at least have some sympathy for the hard pressed mother of two Elin. Rescue the marriage or go for revenge? Gifts for her that combine the element of payback, supreme irony (probably wasted on Americans of course) come no better than a set of four golf balls, each of which does something stupid when you hit it. Gifts for men – especially two-timing golf-obsessed men – must be chosen carefully and be seemingly innocent, for revenge is a dish best served cold.So let him squirm for a year Elin and encourage him to return to the greens and the grind of the tour. After all, he earned an estimated 110 million dollars from winnings and endorsements in 2008 and you need to keep that going for a while to ensure the settlement is up to scratch.
Then, when he repairs his marriage and returns to the world of garish sweaters and stupid hats, he can employ the Christmas gifts you’ve so thoughtfully provided.He’ll find those four great little one-hit wonders will certainly liven up his round! The Exploder blows up into a spectacular cloud of billowing white dust while the Phantom basically vanishes on impact into a watery mist. The Jet Streamer ejects 15 feet of spiralling streaming ribbon when thwacked, and the Unputtaball won’t go in a straight line on the green, however well you hit it.
